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Aspiring actress, singer, and model. ACE certified personal trainer. Fitness/health enthusiast. Exhibitionist. Body positive. Sex positive. Webcam model on MFC. Optimist. Dreamer. Ambitious. Amateur photographer. Vegan. Anarchist. Intersectional feminist. Agnostic atheist. Anti natalist. Childfree by choice. Pro-choice/abortion. #blacklivesmatter
My primary language is English but I also speak a good bit of Spanish and Italian; I love learning new languages so feel free to comment or message me in whatever language you're most comfortable using. (:
Fantasizing about someone else while you're in a relationship DOES in fact count as cheating. If you love someone, you shouldn't want to even think about anyone else. Being unfaithful shouldn't be normalized like it is, and no, men are not "wired differently" and do not need to fuck any and everything they see. Every person is an individual; sex does not determine personality, drive, behavior, etc. Don't be in a monogamous relationship unless you want that person completely, and only them. If you truly love someone, you wouldn't want to look at or think about anyone else in that way.
The value of life is not dependent on age. Kids are not more important or valuable than adults. There is no reason they should be saved first or prioritized. Adults shouldn't have to die just because they were born first. Rape of an adult is just as terrible as rape of a kid, murder of an adult is just as bad as murder of a kid.
Nudity and sex are natural rights for ALL ages, at any place, at any time.
Instagram & Twitter: @caprikittymfc Tumblr: caprikitty(dot)tumblr(dot)com (go to the URL, won't show up in search)
If you truly loved your partner, you would find them the most attractive in every way. You wouldn't think anyone else is better. If you do, you're basically saying you're only settling for being with your partner. If you thought they were the best you wouldn't even notice anyone else. If they're not the most attractive in your eyes, you should leave them because they deserve better.
And no, there isn't "always going to be someone who looks better." looks are subjective. And why would it not be possible for your partner to actually look the best to you?
No animals were harmed in the making of this body.
I share my views on many things here, but I've realized I don't post often about one of the things I'm most passionate about - veganism. And a lot of you probably won't like hearing about it and you're free to unwatch me, I don't care. This is important and I am going to speak up about it more often.
Because a lot of you also ask about my training regimen and what I eat. I haven't eaten meat in 3.5 years. I don't eat dairy or eggs or honey or anything else that comes from an animal either.
Veganism is an ethics movement, it is not a diet - a plant based diet is only one of many aspects of the lifestyle. I also don't wear leather, fur, silk, etc. I don't support zoos or aquariums. I don't support animal testing for any reason. I don't support riding horses or elephants or any other animal. I don't support hunting for any reason.
Speciesism is the root of all prejudice. "They are not like me, so they are beneath me." Humans are animals as well; I think many people tend to forget this. We just evolved to be a certain way. Just like every other creature evolves. We are not superior to other animals in any way. We are not more important. Our lives don't matter more than non human animals'. We are all sentient beings. We all feel pain and terror and happiness and all other feelings. In a world where you don't need to inflict cruelty to survive, why would you? There is no difference between a cat and a cow, or a dog and a pig, morally. They are all lives worthy of love and not to be murdered. Murder is, indeed, murder, regardless of the species. So is rape (the cows in the dairy industry are put on what are literally referred to as "rape racks"). I know a lot of people bitch about using the word "rape" to refer to what happens to non human animals, they say it's "insulting to rape victims." I'm a victim of rape and that does nothing but allow me to have even more empathy for the non human animals subjected to such torment. The suffering of humans is not worse than the suffering of other animals. Pain is pain.
And regardless if certain animals can feel pain or not, they are not ours to exploit. They don't exist for us to benefit from. Their byproducts are not ours to use in the first place.
While veganism is an ethics movement, I do like to focus on the health benefits of a plant based diet as well. Because one, I'm a health and fitness enthusiast/professional. Secondly, a plant based diet is what our bodies are designed to thrive on and it does in fact help with many health conditions and ailments and even has been shown to reverse many diseases. And because everyone is convinced to do things or to change themselves for different reasons. While I would love for everyone to just be compassionate for all life and choose not to support cruelty, some people need other reasons to be convinced to change their behavior. And hopefully, a plant based diet will lead to a vegan lifestyle in the long run. Every little change helps.
I do not support animal welfare, I support the complete abolition of the exploitation of non human animals. It doesn't matter how nicely they are killed - slaughter is cruel in and of itself. These animals, these fellow sentient beings, they do not want to die. They are scared and they know what's about to happen. They fight until they no longer can, until their last breath.
I am here for anyone who wants to learn more about this lifestyle, and for whoever wants to improve their own health. I'll provide some resources and links in this description in a few moments. I am healthy and I am an athlete on a plant based diet. You do not need animal products to put on muscle or to be healthy.
Compassion is never the wrong choice.
Resources/information: www.chooseveg.com youtu.be/tHZUuR1Udno (Earthlings documentary; graphic, but if it's not good enough for your eyes, it shouldn't be good enough for your stomach) youtu.be/es6U00LMmC4 (Gary Yourofsky's "Best Speech You Will Ever Hear" - this is the video that turned me vegan) "Forks Over Knives" documentary (Netflix) "Cowspiracy" documentary (Netflix) "Vegucated" documentary (Netflix) "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" documentary (Netflix) "Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook" (vegan cookbook I personally use and recommend; delicious recipes; the language used throughout the book is the best part)
There's no reason why locker rooms or anywhere else should be segregated by sex. Nudity is a natural right anywhere and everywhere. And there's no reason either sex has to hide their parts from the other lol. It should be casual for us all to be naked around each other. The body doesn't need to be stigmatized or censored in any way.
Okay rant time because tonight's workout was powered by rage and I need to set some shit straight. Also my drive home was slightly terrifying because my windshield was all fogged up and I could barely see, then when I could finally see and my drive was going smoothly, some asshole passed me when they shouldn't have during a very close merge, which would have caused an accident if I hadn't been expecting them to do that. Btw, why is it that people think teenagers can't decide to have sex or display their own bodies however they want (which are natural rights), yet they trust them with heavy metal death machines (aka cars)?
Okay, so. I'm so fucking tired of people calling me - or anyone, really - "selfish" and "vain," as if those are bad traits. Being selfish is fucking necessary to survive. Almost anything anyone does can be traced back to selfishness in some way. Selfishness is not detrimental to others. You don't owe anyone anything. You don't have to help other people. Helping people can be great, yes, and I encourage it, and I fucking love helping others (that's why I'm a personal trainer and I help anyone I can who asks for advice or just wants to vent - trust me, you don't know how many messages I get that are along those lines). But the point is, everyone is the main character in their own lives, their own stories. You're SUPPOSED to put yourself first. Your life matters just as much as anyone else's. There's no reason why you shouldn't put as much effort into your own happiness as you would with others. There's nothing wrong with only caring about yourself, either - as long as you're not causing harm to others, who cares. Which, btw, true "selfishness" is more about putting your wants above others' needs, not just caring about yourself.
I hated myself for most of my life. I had to go through so much shit growing up. I don't feel like I had a childhood. All my time was spent worrying and keeping my parents from killing each other, and I mean that literally just about. I was an outcast in school. I felt like I would be a loser my whole life, even though I always wanted more. I felt like I would always be ugly, I would always hate my reflection and cringe at my photos. Back when I believed in god, I would actually pray that I would die in my sleep. I hoped so badly for that. To me, my life would never get better. And I couldn't live with that constant dread and guilt and worry every time my parents went out, every time we were alone after social events with others, every time they raised their voices at each other.
I spent my childhood feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders constantly. So yeah, now that I'm in a good place mentally and that I'm actually fucking happy, I put myself first. And you know what, I don't need a tragic backstory to justify that. I am allowed to care about and love and admire myself. I think everyone should, or at least feel that they are allowed to. I am not hurting anyone by loving myself. I worked too damn hard to get this far not to give myself the recognition I deserve.
I treat myself like I am important. Because I am. Your perception of yourself is just as important as anyone else's view of who you are - actually, it's more important. You define you, no one else. As long as you consider yourself worthy, who is anyone else to say you aren't? How can you expect anyone else to take you seriously if you don't? You treat yourself how you want others to treat you - because, hey, if they don't treat you well, at least you treat yourself well. And that's all that really matters. I carry myself the way I see myself, to become the person I want to be.
So call me vain and selfish and ~attention craving~ all you want. Like who doesn't enjoy attention anyway. There's nothing wrong with wanting it. But no, I don't do this for attention or fame or followers. I do this for me. Because I am not the weak, spineless person I used to be. I am strong now, and I am who I wanted to be. I do this to express myself. Because I have every right to. Because I owe myself that.
So call me an attention craving, self absorbed cam whore all you want. You only throw those insults around when you get pissed that I'm not who you want me to be. Because you surely didn't mind me stripping and showing off for you. As long as I kept my mouth shut and didn't have any feelings, right? Because that was what was convenient for you.
For those who haven't watched it yet, and just leaving it here in this journal for easy access. If you enjoyed it or just liked learning a bit more about me, be sure to give a thumbs up and subscribe. (: Hoping to make more videos and things soon.
My recovery has been very up and down. I'll feel good for a while and then the pain gets bad again, and the swelling has been really irritating and makes it super hard to eat at all, was just having some chest pain, been falling asleep a lot. But all of this just makes me thankful for being in good health. Right now it's hard to imagine my mouth not being in pain but I am looking forward to returning to normal, and I will be extra grateful when I do. It's such a nice thing to have a healthy body and this just further motivates me to get in better shape and take care of myself extra well. I miss working out so when I can again I am going harder than ever before and I'm gonna stop skipping workouts and just give it 110%. I feel like I've had a lot of setbacks this year in regards to getting in shape, and my physique is not where I wanted it to be at this point, but that's all the more motivation to just keep trying.
Mentally, I'm also feeling pretty good. Cutting a toxic person out of my life is already starting to improve my general mindset and mood. I also want to focus more on being positive, which I do try to be, but sometimes I do get caught up in negativity. I don't really get why, like I don't care what other people think of me, and I haven't for a long time, but sometimes the negativity I get on here and elsewhere really gets to me and I get super irritable and just hate everything. I know other people's opinions of me don't mean anything, as long as I am secure with myself, and I am. And it's crazy when I get so much positivity, which I will forever be thankful for, that I let the rare negative or mean comments stick out. I've had so many people come to me and tell me I inspire them, motivate them, that because of me they are more positive about their own bodies, that they really do enjoy my work, or agree with my stances on important issues, etc. So if some bitter people who are only mad at me or hate me because I've blocked them for being assholes are gonna dislike every single video I put out just to spite me, fine. That's their problem. It shouldn't affect my inner peace, it doesn't make anything I do or say any less valid. People who are insecure with themselves or unhappy with their own lives prey on those who are doing well. Knocking someone else down won't make you any better, it won't improve yourself or your life or your own circumstances, and this is something I've preached for years.
When someone close to you says such mean and vicious things about your character, I think the natural response is to take a step back and look at yourself. But when that person is just saying that in retaliation to valid criticism of their own behavior and attitude, that's really all it is - a deflection. I've examined myself and asked for honest feedback about who I am from quite a few people, people who actually know me beyond a superficial level, have followed me and my work for years, have known me for a majority or the entirety of my life, and the consensus is that, no, I am not an awful person. I do stand for good things. Yes, I am aggressive, and angry, and super passionate - and I will never change those things about myself. I don't want to be fake, I don't want to be someone who tries to have everyone like them by appeasing others, avoiding certain topics, and remaining ambiguous on important issues. I am completely secure in myself, and I know many people dislike me for the things I say or the views I have, and I still say those things. And that's fine. Because I stand for greater things. I stand against bigotry, hatred, discrimination, and close mindedness. I stand for those less fortunate. I stand for freedom. I stand for intellect, courage, compassion, and being explicitly and completely yourself. I don't respect opinions that disrespect the existence of others. I will never let go of that anger, that passion - it shows I care. But I will stop letting negativity harm my inner being. Sometimes the anger only hurts myself, and sometimes I just have to ignore things or people when they're trying to push me down. Because that's what they want - a reaction, they want to have some sort of effect on me because they may not have any control in their own lives or sense of self.
I will never apologize for defending myself or feeling so strongly about things, or having emotions at all. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive, and yes, I am a sensitive person. But that does not negate the strength I have. The power. My confidence. However, I will let the little things go, the annoyances, the mean remarks people say because they see me being happy with myself. It's not important. I want to instead focus more on positivity, love, courage, and peace. I want people to feel good about themselves, I want people to think they're amazing - I don't believe in humility, and I don't believe in arrogance either. But I think everyone should permit themselves to fall in love with who they are, and also share love with others if they can. I want to live myself to be happy, and to spread happiness and joy with others. I think sometimes people think it's a dichotomy of either making yourself happy or helping other people, when in reality, you can do both, and it's better that way. You deserve happiness just like other people do.
I am a person before anything else. I'm not trying to be a role model, exactly. I don't think celebrities or anyone else owes society that. Is it cool to promote good things? Yes, and I do want to do that and spread a good message. But I think we also need to redefine what qualifies as "good morals." We need to stop shaming those for loving their bodies and expressing themselves through their bodies, stop shaming those who love and enjoy sex and aren't afraid to talk about it. We need to stop equating the law with morality, as many laws don't make sense and things that are illegal aren't actually harmful. We need to recognize when we carry certain privileges and remember not to talk over the oppressed and hurting. We need to listen and speak the truth. We need to respect each other despite differences, but also know that certain differences and opinions aren't deserving of respect (as I mentioned earlier, anyone that is purposely hateful or discriminatory does not deserve respect in my opinion). We must educate, but also as a society stop placing so much importance on formal education and implying that those who don't go to college are useless, or unintelligent, or have no direction. Living life, exploring new areas, meeting new people, and just doing things are the best ways to learn.
Moving forward, I want to cut the negativity out. I want to stop dwelling on people who "hate" me, I want to stop welcoming toxic people back into my life, I want to stop being so hard on myself and so afraid. Maybe if I have a witty response to hateful comments or a point to prove, I will respond, but otherwise, there's no point. So people dislike my videos, so people call me a "whore," so people think I'm immature for having feelings or being myself, maybe some people think I'm ugly. So what. I know I am a good person. I don't go out of my way to go to other people's pages and put them down, I don't start anything unless someone starts with me first. I've never sent someone an anonymous message calling them hideous or to kill themselves. Not saying those things make me a great person, that's honestly the bare minimum of decency, but I'm really not as horrible as some people would claim.
I appreciate those of you who have supported me since the beginning or since you've discovered me so much, I appreciate every single good word and sentiment you send my way, and thank you all for the well wishes during the recovery from my surgery. I don't respond to every single comment, but I do read each and every single one of them and just know that you guys make my day all the time. I've enjoyed getting to know a lot of you and talking to you all, and it makes me feel so good to know if I've had any sort of positive impact on you. I never knew I would reach this sort of "popularity" on here or reach so many people, I never thought my life would be like this at all years ago, but I am so very thankful and excited for things to come. I feel very enlightened now, and I'm not sure why, maybe it's from mostly laying around the past few days and thinking over things since ending a friendship, but I feel like I am entering a stage of enormous growth as a person and as long as I make some sort of improvement each day, no matter how small, I am happy. And I hope you guys will continue to grow and love yourselves and follow your dreams as well, because you absolutely deserve to. Always believe in yourself, and never let anyone tell you what you can or can't do. No one else defines you.
Your reputation is what people think about you. Your character is who you really are.