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Aspiring actress, singer, and model. ACE certified personal trainer. Fitness/health enthusiast. Exhibitionist. Body positive. Sex positive. Webcam model on MFC. Optimist. Dreamer. Ambitious. Amateur photographer. Vegan. Anarchist. Intersectional feminist. Agnostic atheist. Anti natalist. #blacklivesmatter
My primary language is English but I also speak a good bit of Spanish and Italian; I love learning new languages so feel free to comment or message me in whatever language you're most comfortable using. (:
Fantasizing about someone else while you're in a relationship DOES in fact count as cheating. If you love someone, you shouldn't want to even think about anyone else.
Instagram & Twitter: @caprikittymfc Tumblr: caprikitty(dot)tumblr(dot)com (go to the URL, won't show up in search)
Women and men do not think differently. Everyone is different, sex has nothing to do with behavior or personality or intelligence or thought. Only bigoted sexist idiots think that. There is no difference between our bodies as far as the chest area goes. Boobs aren't sex organs, and even if they were who cares because everyone should be free to display as much of their body, yes including full nudity, as they wish anyway, at any place and time and around anyone, and this goes for all ages because it's not wrong for people under an arbitrary age to be naked or take naked pictures or for them to be around other people who are naked. Women's bodies are not for men's consumption and just because they may get aroused by them doesn't mean our freedom to express our own bodies however we wish should be limited.
For those who haven't watched it yet, and just leaving it here in this journal for easy access. If you enjoyed it or just liked learning a bit more about me, be sure to give a thumbs up and subscribe. (: Hoping to make more videos and things soon.
My recovery has been very up and down. I'll feel good for a while and then the pain gets bad again, and the swelling has been really irritating and makes it super hard to eat at all, was just having some chest pain, been falling asleep a lot. But all of this just makes me thankful for being in good health. Right now it's hard to imagine my mouth not being in pain but I am looking forward to returning to normal, and I will be extra grateful when I do. It's such a nice thing to have a healthy body and this just further motivates me to get in better shape and take care of myself extra well. I miss working out so when I can again I am going harder than ever before and I'm gonna stop skipping workouts and just give it 110%. I feel like I've had a lot of setbacks this year in regards to getting in shape, and my physique is not where I wanted it to be at this point, but that's all the more motivation to just keep trying.
Mentally, I'm also feeling pretty good. Cutting a toxic person out of my life is already starting to improve my general mindset and mood. I also want to focus more on being positive, which I do try to be, but sometimes I do get caught up in negativity. I don't really get why, like I don't care what other people think of me, and I haven't for a long time, but sometimes the negativity I get on here and elsewhere really gets to me and I get super irritable and just hate everything. I know other people's opinions of me don't mean anything, as long as I am secure with myself, and I am. And it's crazy when I get so much positivity, which I will forever be thankful for, that I let the rare negative or mean comments stick out. I've had so many people come to me and tell me I inspire them, motivate them, that because of me they are more positive about their own bodies, that they really do enjoy my work, or agree with my stances on important issues, etc. So if some bitter people who are only mad at me or hate me because I've blocked them for being assholes are gonna dislike every single video I put out just to spite me, fine. That's their problem. It shouldn't affect my inner peace, it doesn't make anything I do or say any less valid. People who are insecure with themselves or unhappy with their own lives prey on those who are doing well. Knocking someone else down won't make you any better, it won't improve yourself or your life or your own circumstances, and this is something I've preached for years.
When someone close to you says such mean and vicious things about your character, I think the natural response is to take a step back and look at yourself. But when that person is just saying that in retaliation to valid criticism of their own behavior and attitude, that's really all it is - a deflection. I've examined myself and asked for honest feedback about who I am from quite a few people, people who actually know me beyond a superficial level, have followed me and my work for years, have known me for a majority or the entirety of my life, and the consensus is that, no, I am not an awful person. I do stand for good things. Yes, I am aggressive, and angry, and super passionate - and I will never change those things about myself. I don't want to be fake, I don't want to be someone who tries to have everyone like them by appeasing others, avoiding certain topics, and remaining ambiguous on important issues. I am completely secure in myself, and I know many people dislike me for the things I say or the views I have, and I still say those things. And that's fine. Because I stand for greater things. I stand against bigotry, hatred, discrimination, and close mindedness. I stand for those less fortunate. I stand for freedom. I stand for intellect, courage, compassion, and being explicitly and completely yourself. I don't respect opinions that disrespect the existence of others. I will never let go of that anger, that passion - it shows I care. But I will stop letting negativity harm my inner being. Sometimes the anger only hurts myself, and sometimes I just have to ignore things or people when they're trying to push me down. Because that's what they want - a reaction, they want to have some sort of effect on me because they may not have any control in their own lives or sense of self.
I will never apologize for defending myself or feeling so strongly about things, or having emotions at all. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive, and yes, I am a sensitive person. But that does not negate the strength I have. The power. My confidence. However, I will let the little things go, the annoyances, the mean remarks people say because they see me being happy with myself. It's not important. I want to instead focus more on positivity, love, courage, and peace. I want people to feel good about themselves, I want people to think they're amazing - I don't believe in humility, and I don't believe in arrogance either. But I think everyone should permit themselves to fall in love with who they are, and also share love with others if they can. I want to live myself to be happy, and to spread happiness and joy with others. I think sometimes people think it's a dichotomy of either making yourself happy or helping other people, when in reality, you can do both, and it's better that way. You deserve happiness just like other people do.
I am a person before anything else. I'm not trying to be a role model, exactly. I don't think celebrities or anyone else owes society that. Is it cool to promote good things? Yes, and I do want to do that and spread a good message. But I think we also need to redefine what qualifies as "good morals." We need to stop shaming those for loving their bodies and expressing themselves through their bodies, stop shaming those who love and enjoy sex and aren't afraid to talk about it. We need to stop equating the law with morality, as many laws don't make sense and things that are illegal aren't actually harmful. We need to recognize when we carry certain privileges and remember not to talk over the oppressed and hurting. We need to listen and speak the truth. We need to respect each other despite differences, but also know that certain differences and opinions aren't deserving of respect (as I mentioned earlier, anyone that is purposely hateful or discriminatory does not deserve respect in my opinion). We must educate, but also as a society stop placing so much importance on formal education and implying that those who don't go to college are useless, or unintelligent, or have no direction. Living life, exploring new areas, meeting new people, and just doing things are the best ways to learn.
Moving forward, I want to cut the negativity out. I want to stop dwelling on people who "hate" me, I want to stop welcoming toxic people back into my life, I want to stop being so hard on myself and so afraid. Maybe if I have a witty response to hateful comments or a point to prove, I will respond, but otherwise, there's no point. So people dislike my videos, so people call me a "whore," so people think I'm immature for having feelings or being myself, maybe some people think I'm ugly. So what. I know I am a good person. I don't go out of my way to go to other people's pages and put them down, I don't start anything unless someone starts with me first. I've never sent someone an anonymous message calling them hideous or to kill themselves. Not saying those things make me a great person, that's honestly the bare minimum of decency, but I'm really not as horrible as some people would claim.
I appreciate those of you who have supported me since the beginning or since you've discovered me so much, I appreciate every single good word and sentiment you send my way, and thank you all for the well wishes during the recovery from my surgery. I don't respond to every single comment, but I do read each and every single one of them and just know that you guys make my day all the time. I've enjoyed getting to know a lot of you and talking to you all, and it makes me feel so good to know if I've had any sort of positive impact on you. I never knew I would reach this sort of "popularity" on here or reach so many people, I never thought my life would be like this at all years ago, but I am so very thankful and excited for things to come. I feel very enlightened now, and I'm not sure why, maybe it's from mostly laying around the past few days and thinking over things since ending a friendship, but I feel like I am entering a stage of enormous growth as a person and as long as I make some sort of improvement each day, no matter how small, I am happy. And I hope you guys will continue to grow and love yourselves and follow your dreams as well, because you absolutely deserve to. Always believe in yourself, and never let anyone tell you what you can or can't do. No one else defines you.
Your reputation is what people think about you. Your character is who you really are.